austin1516

Long overdue, if you are already a friend of mine on here no need to comment. Anyone else, please do.

So in the past week I've had one fall and one summer class both canceled due to low enrollment, wtf? I think I had maybe one class in my entire 4.5 years as an undergrad canceled so this sucks!

R563 got canceled for the summer so now I am enrolled in H540, Sociology of Education, and then that required me to drop an elective in the fall so I dropped my 8am SPEA class and added R621, Needs Analysis & Assessment. Hopefully that's all the maneuvering I have to do!

And, oh yea, I'm also going in tomorrow to meet with my LIT boss...I could possibly be keeping the job, just not coming back until the semester is over! That would be nice!

Well, the grad school grind has finally caught up to me work wise. I have decided to quit my jobs and attempt to live the poor life solely off my student loans, at least for the time being.

I have struggled with this juggling act all semester long, and in reality the only time I have to sleep is when I am scheduled to work. I hate looking irresponsible work-wise, and it is not fair to my employers at the same time either so I think it is the best decision. I might pickup a part time job later in the Summer that fits my new academic lifestyle better. We'll just have to see.

I get my summer loans on April 29th and until then, pretty much broke as a joke and no bills being paid.

Ah, I love grad school. One more year.

Little 5 week is here and for once there is little fun to be had. Conveniently this is the week from hell with papers/projects out the ass.

Don't expect to see me until Friday night at the earliest. Blah.

I do not know really what to say this time. I just have been thinking a lot lately (and as usual I suppose). There are so many people who have changed me for the better or the worse throughout my time in college. In a way I feel like that is just part of growing up, right?

In recent times, some people in my life have not turned out to mean to me what they once did. It was not something that I predicted years back, but time changes many things that one cannot necessarily plan out. This is yet another one of those instances. In this case, I cannot help but feel hurt by the level of trust I put in to others' character only to have it stomped on in the end. It is a terrible feeling, but another one of those life lessons I suppose. I say this just because my level of trust in others is so precarious to begin with, due to how I was raised. It is definitely going to make it harder for me, in the future, to put so much faith into those individuals who enter my life from this point forward.

On a totally different wavelength, I feel so used by others that have entered my life within the past year. Why do I let this happen to myself, time and time again? I am so angry at myself for believing in something that was never there. What more can I say, it is a terrible feeling indeed.

I guess it is good I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel amidst all of this. School has an overwhelming dominance over my life anymore, as it should at this point in my academic career. They (whoever that may be) always say that adversity shows you the truth. At this point, I cannot agree any more.

I have bronchitis, yay. Missed both jobs and both classes yesterday, missing one job today. Hopefully will be better by the end of the weekend because I have massive projects due in pretty much every class.

In other news a couple of my classes were canceled for the fall so I have been scrambling to re-register. I decided to go ahead and take 12 hours in the fall in hopes I can get done in the spring with 12 more. A lot of me getting done next May depends on if I am able to get into four IST classes next spring since I will need 12 IST hours to graduate after December. So, looks like I'm now in one IST class in the fall along with three outside classes (I need nine hours of electives for my masters so this will complete it all in one semester).

EDUC R521- Instructional Design & Development I
4:00-6:45 MW

TEL T535- Economics of Information
2:30-3:45 MW

SPEA V516- Public Management Information Systems
8:00-9:15 TR (ugh, only the second 8am class I've ever had in college and first since freshman year)

SLIS S516- Human-Computer Interaction
1:00-3:45 R

I still am taking R563, first summer session, and R542, second summer session. Completely behind on all my bills, but hopefully that situation resolves itself when I get my summer aid deposited on April 29. Not much else to report, so back to bed for me...

Last night I was just thinking to myself, how would my life have turned out had I made a different college choice five years ago?

I applied to Ball State and IU. I only wanted to go to Ball State because most of my friends from high school were going there and it was a decision out of security more than anything. What would I have majored in, would I have eventually transfered to IU anyways? I can't help but wonder, I guess ultimately I am glad I came to IU. I come from such a close-minded/sheltered small town that it has been a great experience to go somewhere so big and out of control at times. Sure, there are things I regret, but I think that the person I have become today is not such a bad one.

I'm sure a lot of my old classmates think similarly, especially the ones that are married with kids and decided to forgo a college education. I see this even with my own brother. He came up to go out with me a few weeks ago and I definitely could sense some regret on his part for how his life has turned out. I definitely have tried to tell him that he still can get to where he wants to go, it's just going to take a bit more work for him than it did for myself. I had the same life cards dealt to me when I graduated high school that he did and yet my life is headed in a much more positive direction at this point than his.

Life is amazing and cruel all in one at times, no?

Blah, so burnt out on this web design module in my SLIS class. I will be so glad when Thursday is here and I am done with this bs. In other news, I registered for summer classes Friday and fall classes today...woohoo for burnouts!

Summer I
R563 Business/Economic Dimension of Training/Development
1:00-4:15 TR

Summer II
R542 Instructional Graphics Design
9:00-12:00 TR

Fall
R521 Instructional Design/Development I
4:00-6:45 Monday/Wednesday

R622 Learning Environments Design
11:15-12:30 Tuesday/Thursday

S516 Human-Computer Interaction
1:00-3:45 Thursdays

All in all, not a bad schedule. Class two days/week all summer long and just four light days/week in the fall as well :). Just 30 credits from my masters after this spring semester ends, 24 after the summer, and just 15 away in December! Wow, this goes so quick...let's just hope I keep my head above water since it is so easy to burn out!

Alright, back to the web design!!!

So I was bored tonight and couldn't sleep (I "napped" from 7pm-1am) which led to me finally moving over all of my journal entries from my first blog.

It is amazing to me how much has changed in my life in the past four years. Just the general life lessons people learn, and seeing it happen in the form of my own words at that is incredible. I really do not know what my intent is behind this entry, but I think despite everything that has happened I am genuinely happy with the person I have become. There is still a lot of unfinished business in my life, such as finishing out my education and starting my career, but all in all life is not so bad.

Well, as you know I spent last week in Panama City Beach, Florida. It definitely was not what I expected, but it was both in good and bad ways.

First off, everyone was as nice as anyone I had ever encountered in my life. Everyone from the gas station/restaurant workers to all of the random spring breakers welcomed whoever. A couple of people I met from Michigan stand out specifically. They not only gave me a ride to Wal-mart, as they saw me walking out of my hotel parking lot, but they waited on me as I bought a new phone (mine died from sand) and gave me a ride all the way back. How awesome is that? That was definitely the best part of the experience because you don't see people that nice much anymore, which is unfortunate.

Secondly, we were placed on the top floor of our hotel which we thought kind of sucked at first but then realized that the first five rooms on our floor (including ours) were all Indiana people. First room was Purude, then IU, IU, Vincennes, then us. It made for an awesome week and some of our spring break people are already planning to come hang out with us during Little 5 weekend.

The bad is that I did not have as much "fun" partying as I thought I would. Sure, I had a couple of crazy nights as is to be expected. However, everyone else was just like in constant party mode and it made me realize that I just am not like that at all anymore. I think this is a good realization to come to. I just am getting older and party central isn't exactly my thing at this point.

The drive was also terrible. Never again will I drive to Florida, next time I'm flying if I ever go back.

As for back here at home, I am just getting adjusted back to a normal class/work schedule again. Still struggling with that a bit. I start my second job as a busser next week for some extra income, and I also just switched my schedule at my current job to work afternoons starting next week. These mornings are killing me since I stay up so late reading and what not. However, the BEST news I have is that I found out this morning I am officially admitted into graduate school for the Masters in Instructional Systems Technology program for the fall! I just am glad I finally know and I can relax from the desperate job hunt I have been on lately. I won't know my financial aid information until after April 15th since they need to know who accepts and rejects what first (doctoral students get priority). It would be nice to get a teaching assistantship for the upcoming school year, but I don't want to get my hopes up just yet. Since I am taking 9 hours towards my Masters this semester I only have 27 hours left once I actually enter the program. I am going to take 6 hours this summer which will leave me with only 21. Then probably 9 in the fall and 9 more in the spring. Should be able to finish my Masters up with one class in Summer 2008! Pretty quick, just sucks so few of my friends will still be here in town with me next year. Oh well, won't really have much time outside of studies since I was admitted on the condition that I maintain a 3.7 GPA which will be a lot of work. The cool thing, though, is that my graduate advisor is an instructor I had over three years ago for a computer applications class I took through the Education school. He already knows me and he taught me everything I learned about video editing prior to my UITS job so I'm excited to learn a lot more.

Alright, 8-4 work tomorrow...last week of these early mornings, thank god. Peace.

Leaving for Panama City Beach, Florida in about 6.5 hours!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhh this shift at work is never going to end, wow this week is going to be crazy. :-D

First time going to Florida and first time even SEEING the ocean in person, wow what a deprived traveler I have been!!!!!!!!!!! B-)

It amazes me how best friends' lives can start to go in opposite directions over the silliest arguments. Years thrown away in the matter of moments. Once again I am reminded just how much growing up I have left to do, even at this "adult" age, just as most of you probably do as well.

We are down to just three of us going to Florida for Spring Break. Ben decided he didn't want to go to catchup on school work. Oh well, we are all still going to go and make the best of it. I need a break bad even if that means sending myself into more credit card debt in the process.

As for school, I have gotten much more efficient with my time and in turn have been a lot more productive lately. I knew after I worked my new job for a few weeks I would get used to a schedule, and I am glad to say that is starting to happen. I just need to keep this in mind over Spring Break so amidst my fun I still keep up with my readings down there. The only difference is I will be on the beach :).

Alright, just wanted to throw in the quick update...back to work.

Interview with Western Southern Financial Group after work today. Another sales job, blah. The base pay is better than the careerbuilder.com sales job that I was offered last semester so I guess I am going to at least hear them out and see what the job entails. Still no word on the graduate admissions, they certainly don't seem to care about people who need to know whether they need to find a job or not in a few months :-p. Ah, life. It's good times.

Burnt out on this grad school thing tonight I applied for the Indianapolis Teaching Fellowship program (http://indianapolisteachingfellows.org/). Basically if you have a Bachelor's degree you can teach math/science, for them (they have similar programs in other big cities), and in turn you just have to continue to take classes to get your teaching license. I'm also looking into teaching overseas in some English teacher programs, just getting started in looking into that however. Who knows what I will be doing in a few months!

R.I.P.



I came home to a dead screen, yay, of course like two weeks after I spent $364 on Spring Break reservations.  For now using a ghetto 17 inch monitor that's practically bigger than my entire desk. Ugh.  I still have no sound with the new monitor yet thanks to the speakers being built into my other monitor...still trying to figure that one out.  What a pain in the ass.

Well, it has been another eventful weekend. Still no word, however on my graduate admissions...

Friday night I had to write a portion of a group paper, luckily for that class I did not have the responsibility of putting together the paper. I feel like I'm sort of lagging behind my classmates because I just am too busy with work and lack of sleep to really put 100% into anything. As for today, I had to not only write my section of a group paper (for another class), but I also was the person to put the whole paper together. Argh. If any of you have done group papers before you know how hard it is to combine three different people's writing styles together into one smoothly flowing paper. Needless to say it has been a six plus hour battle for me today but I finally have it sent in. I am just glad to be done, until of course this week where I have group papers in both classes again. A paper every week plus hundreds of pages of reading seems like a little overkill to me. I have so much information hitting me that I really am not getting a chance to take it in and retain anything. One would think there would be some sort of happy median between undergraduate classes that require no work and graduate classes that overwhelm you to no end.

Although I still do not know for sure what my graduate admissions status is I have been actively job searching in whatever spare time I have had lately. Today I applied for another union organizer in training position with the United Food and Commercial Workers union. Hopefully this one will work out unlike the other unions I have interviewed with. If I am able to get a union job, I think it is safe to say I will not be back at IU in the Fall even if I do get in. I just am not really ready for the commitment of school being my whole life. It is kind of sad really because if I was financially comfortable enough I could do it without a job quite easily. Nobody in any of my graduate classes has a job outside of paid assistantships and what not, so I get the feeling that my group members do not exactly care that I have to fit an 8-4 job in amidst readings and paper hell.

Not much else going on. Spring break is now less than three weeks away and despite not really being able to afford it, God do I need it. I went out Friday night and got out of control, and if anything it was expected given all the stresses I am currently under. As for my job, it is going well I just feel like they never have anything for me to do. Friday I worked 8-4 (and I work the same tomorrow), and I spent the vast majority of my shift just chatting online and browsing facebook, etc. At least the job itself looks good on paper and I have already learned plenty in regards to hardware configuration and taking apart computers that I never would have learned at my old job.

Ah...I guess that's a wrap for this. Back to some R667 readings before my group flips out for me not sharing my thoughts with them yet! Yay...

Tired, again, and being completely unproductive. Seems to be the norm lately. Too much going on and not enough sleep.

I still am not sure if I am cut out for this grad school thing. Sometimes I am not even sure if I am studying the right thing. I just want to know one way or the other if I am officially in the program for the Fall or not. In a way I will be pissed if I just wasted my money and time this semester, but on the other hand I really do not feel ready for this type of academic work. It is definitely a tough place to be in and it just has me feeling as lost as ever.

Tonight I was looking at some more potential jobs and also looking at some other Instructional Systems Technology programs, nationally. Most of the other competitive schools require a higher GRE score than I obtained. I think, if I do not get in at IU, I will retake the GRE this Summer and job hunt in the Florida area in the mean time. Florida State and Central Florida both have really good programs and the snow today just reminded me how much I hate winters here in Bloomington. If I land a good enough job, in the mean time, I may just say screw it and never get my Masters. I guess only time will tell.

In other news, I finally booked official Spring Break plans tonight! Panama City Beach with Ben, Lindsey, & Allison! :D A bunch of other people we know will be down there so it will be a nice break and a lot of fun even though I really cannot afford to blow that much money. Oh well! I just hope the weather is not cold when we are there because I cannot take much more cold weather!!!

Alright, I guess that is all I got. I will keep you posted on how the grad school admissions turns out...in the mean time back to the books! Argh.

So much going on anymore in my life. I started my new job today with Library Information Technology Services, at IU, but the sad thing is I really do not have time to work with all of this school work. It would not be so bad, but I have to maintain at least 20 hours and they have to come between 8-5 Monday-Friday which is when all of my classes are. I think I am going to have to pickup a 2nd 8 weeks elective and ditch out on my Informatics class on Mondays/Wednesdays just to keep my head above water for the next few months. Of course when that 2nd 8 weeks class starts in March I'll be overwhelmed again, but 12 credit hours of graduate level work is way too much. It just never stops and I am never taking more than nine credits at once ever again. I'll chalk it up as a learning experience. My classes are filled with overachievers so I need to make the best of my time rather than spreading myself too thin and slowly dying.

As for the job, I think it is going to be great. It is slightly less pay than my old UITS job, but the learning experiences will be awesome. If this grad school thing ends up not working out I will finally obtain the hardware experience I lack which makes me excited about the opportunity. I even have my own desk :). It is kind of cool too that I am the only student working in the department, and they said they have not hired someone like me for three or four years. This is definitely a far cry from my old job where I pretty much knew everything I could and was extremely burnt out on the same routine.

Ah, well, enough of this entry I suppose. I will be lucky if I get to bed before 6am, AGAIN, tonight. Thank God I do not have class until 1pm and Tuesdays I am off from work! Sweet! Later!

(x posted on facebook notes as well) :-p

Things are going to be interesting in B-town the next few weeks, leading up to the SuperBowl. Tons of Chicago-area people go to school here, but fuck them...GO HORSE! :)

Well my first semester of grad school has started and already it can be summed up in one word: Hell.

I obviously knew that I would have to study consistently for the first time in my life, but damn this semester is going to suck. Thank God this torture only lasts until May 2008, and even at that this is definitely the most work I will have of all the semesters. I am enrolled in 12 credit hours this semester, then the plan is for six credits this Summer so I can just take a more manageable load of nine credits next Fall and Spring to complete the 36-hour Masters. I went out twice this week (Wednesday & Friday nights) which I now regret because I am way too far behind on my readings. I need to have them all finished before a 7pm Sunday group meeting for my semester long R667 project or I won't have much to discuss with my group. I have two other classmates on my team to soften the blow, but basically we have to focus on a higher education institution and spend all semester researching/planning on how we could go about enacting a systematic change within its structure. Sounds like a blast, eh?

The class that I like the most is the SLIS course I am taking, L401: Computer-Based Information Tools. The first day, during the class break, the professor already came up to me and asked why I was in the class because I knew pretty much everything he shot at us during that first lecture. His primary job is through SLIS doing a job similar to what the Admins did at my old job so it seems like we will have a lot to talk about over the course of the semester. Hey, guess it does not hurt to get in good with a prof already...but now it could bite me in the ass since he is going to expect me to do really well in the course. I should be fine, I hope.

Definitely the hardest class I am going to have to deal with, in terms of not understanding the subject matter, is the Informatics Bio-inspired Computing course I am taking. I switched to the graduate section, 590, instead of the 400 I had initially registered for but it does not seem like there will be a ton of work. However, there is one big final project at the end of the semester. I have no idea what I will do since I have no background in anything covered in this course. The prof emailed me on Friday and wants me to come to office hours sometime this week to devise a plan of sorts, for me, in terms of how I should handle the course.

As you can see, I am going to be extremely busy this semester. I guess all I can do is take it one day at a time. Right now I am actually happy I don't have a job because I am going to be extremely overwhelmed once that has to be squeezed in again. Speaking of jobs, I just got a job with Boston Scientific teaching computer education classes to the workers. The job does not start until February 5th and only runs until June 30th, but the teaching experience will be good for me since I hopefully will have an AI job come this Summer or Fall. The drive to Spencer three nights/week obviously will not be fun, but I can deal with it. I also interviewed with library technology services, on campus, Friday so hopefully that will end up working out for me as well. I have no problem getting interviews due to that impressive looking "UITS" computer background, but I apparently do not back it up very well once in an interview since I still am not working! Haha.

This week is going to be pretty busy, I do have plans to go see The 17th Floor play at the Bluebird on Wednesday night. I am limiting that night as my ONLY night out next week (including weekends) so hopefully it will be worth it. I have a huge SLIS assignment due Thursday so obviously if that does not get done I cannot even go out Wednesday :(. Ah...life will go on I suppose.

On a side note, damn, time flies. I was just looking at my archives on this journal before I posted this and it seems surreal that I have been writing here since August 2004. My life has changed so much since then and continues to change even more as time progresses. I definitely feel fortunate to grow up in an information age such as this so I can look back on these entries once I start my career. Well, enough of that and this entry, I will try to keep things updated better here...later!